TALK, will you, TALK! *BUT IT HURTS!*

It could be said that I don't believe in God.

Of course, those of you who do may have already shied away from this post... but if I can ask you, no, beg you to sit a while and read what I have to say, you might realize that our beliefs are hardly different. Or, maybe they are quite different. Either way, free will has led me to question the existence of (G/g)od(s).

I'm no Atheist. Sure, I've doubted that we are more than just evolved apes before. Let's be honest...however small or unlikely it may be, we COULD just stop existing when we die.

That's what always scares me the most about death...the thought that at any moment, I just won't exist and won't even realize it is possibly one of the most terrifying things imaginable.

For a while there, I looked at it this way: If there is an all-powerful being out there that IS everything and can DO ANYTHING, and loves us all unconditionally...why does my life suck so much?

I mean seriously, God. REALLY? Out of my Immediate family, there is ONE person who doesn't have some sort of major health problem. Why? Why can't we all be healthy? Isn't life hard enough without having to fight to stay alive every day?

And why is there NEVER enough? Not enough money, not enough food, not enough room. If there is an all knowing, all seeing God...Why can't he see that we need help?

Even now, I'm having a hard time grasping that. But then I realize... if God is in everything, isn't God in us?


THERES the shocker right THURRR.


See, if God is in us, then we all have a little bit of God. Only it isn't God. It's the same energy that keeps the trees growing and the earth spinning. So....if we all have that energy within us, whose to say that we can't use it?

Some people pray. Others manifest. What's the difference? Manifesting IS praying. SO WHATS THE BIG DEAL ABOUT RELIGION?!


GRR. If you think about it, all major religions have the same general outline.


WELL. Ive been writing this forever and I don't think I can write more on it without rambling. I'm open to all questions and ideas.

LOVE YOU ALL.

Here's the Scoop...

Like a triple-decker multi-flavored sorbet on a waffle cone.



I have been so busy within the last month that I haven't even had the time to function like a normal human being, let alone write a new blog.


However, there's a time for all things, and this blog's time is NOW.


Looks like my last post was over a month ago...ouch. Lets cover that, shall we?

My mom and I drove through Idaho to pick up a new dog--a Border Collie which we have named Hugo. He is adorable and I love him.





I also have a job, serving Chinese food at Panda Express. Come buy some orange chicken from me!

But the last month or so, I have been engulfed by the loss of another Bestie. Jessica moved to Seattle for UW. So, for the last month or so, I have been pretty down. It could be just that, or a mixture of various things, but I definitely haven't felt like myself lately.

I have a plan. I go to SFCC for two years (roughly), then apply to as many other colleges as I can. Hopefully, I will then move to Seattle to continue my schooling.
School, work, sleep.
Wash, rinse, repeat.

There will be some room for play, life, theatre and so on... but I feel like my plan isn't good enough. I feel like if I could die at any minute, what am I doing HERE? Why am I not saying "To Hell with social norms!", moving to Seattle right now and not caring what happens, as long as I can get to where I WANT to be?

I've also been having a lot of weird, disjointed thoughts about life, spirituality and the existence of human beings in general.

Heavy stuff, I know, which is why I've officially kicked that topic into a whole other post, which I will post separately, in case some people don't want to read it ;).

So, this post is rather long all of a sudden, isn't it?


I'll post again soon. Go read my story and review! Its under a second blog on my profile (Insanity). If you read, I'll post more. Therefore, I will write more.


LAHVE <3